Monday, December 28, 2009

Fertility by Osmosis?

I've been a bad blogger lately, but I can chalk that up to some good ol' family time over the holidays - and still going strong. Since Jack Bauer didn't come back to the States for Christmas, I'm hanging out with the rest of the fam.

Christmas Eve met me with an interesting guest at my cousin's house. She is good friends with a very prominent fertility specialist/surrogate impreganator extraordinaire, and he and his wife just happened to join our family for dinner.

It was all I could do to bite my tongue and not tell him about my many and varied types of fertility treatments to get his opinion. And, then I thought, maybe I should do an interview with him for the blog, but since we were all eating appetizers, drinking wine and talking about the latest movies, I thought it would be in bad and inappropriate form.

So, there I sat, thinking of ways that his super-fertile hands could help me out. After all, there are probably thousands of infertile women that he helped get pregnant. I was thinking that my best shot is probably osmosis. It works for all kinds of things, why not infertility?

However, there is a major challenge with this oddly-conceived idea. Jack is 7,000 miles away for the next couple of weeks. I don't go back to China until mid-January. So, hopefully any good juju, mojo, whatever from Dr. Super-Fertile that just happened to rub off on me when I hugged him good-bye will last that long.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Twelve Days of Infertile's Christmas Finale

On the first day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me: wishes for a pregnancy

On the second day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me: two embryos and wishes for a pregnancy

On the third day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me: three Follistem pens, two embryos and wishes for a pregnancy...

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Four falling eggs, three follistim pens, two embryos and wishes for a pregnancy..

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Five telephone rings (with news of a strong Beta), four falling eggs, three follistim pens, two embryos and wishes for a pregnancy...

On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Six ultrasounds a poking, five telephone rings (with news of a strong Beta), four falling eggs, three follistim pens, two embryos and wishes for a pregnancy...


On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Seven (million) sperm a swimming, six ultrasounds a poking, five telephone rings (with news of a strong Beta), four falling eggs, three follistim pens, two embryos and wishes for a pregnancy...

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Eight nervous breakdowns, seven (million) sperm a swimming, six ultrasounds a poking, five telephone rings (with news of a strong Beta), four falling eggs, three follistim pens, two embryos and wishes for a pregnancy...

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Nine blood draws a lancing, eight nervous breakdowns, seven (million) sperm a swimming, six ultrasounds a poking, five telephone rings (with news of a strong Beta), four falling eggs, three follistim pens, two embryos and wishes for a pregnancy...

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Ten (thousand) dollars a leaving, nine blood draws a lancing, eight nervous breakdowns, seven (million) sperm a swimming, six ultrasounds a poking, five telephone rings (with news of a strong Beta), four falling eggs, three follistim pens, two embryos and wishes for a pregnancy...

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Eleven follicles riping, ten (thousand dollars) a leaving, nine blood draws a lancing, eight nervous breakdowns, seven (million) sperm a swimming, six ultrasounds a poking, five telephone rings (with news of a strong Beta), four falling eggs, three follistim pens, two embryos and wishes for a pregnancy...

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Twelve days ovulating, eleven follicles riping, ten (thousand dollars) a leaving, nine blood draws a lancing, eight nervous breakdowns, seven (million) sperm a swimming, six ultrasounds a poking, five telephone rings (with news of a strong Beta), four falling eggs, three follistim pens, two embryos and wishes for a pregnancy...

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Twelve Days of Infertile's Christmas continued

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Four falling eggs, three follistim pens, two embryos and wishes for a pregnancy.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Five telephone rings (with news of a strong Beta), four falling eggs, three follistim pens, two embryos and wishes for a pregnancy.


On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Six (million) sperm a swimming, five telephone rings (with news of a strong Beta), four, four falling eggs, three follistim pens, two embryos and wishes for a pregnancy.

Will finish this up this weekend.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

The Twelve Days of An Infertile's Christmas

Christmas is tough for infertiles (see previous post on FaceBook annoyances related to kids and Christmas). This time of year more than any other, I am reminded on a constant basis of the fact that I am not a parent. So, I decided to do something that makes me feel better.

Jack Bauer has a habit of singing funny, made up words to songs (usually about one of our pets), and it always makes me laugh.

From now until Christmas, I will be rewriting the classic carol, The Twelve Days of Christmas. Feel free to sing along with me.

On the first day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me: wishes for a pregnancy
On the second day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me: two embryos and wishes for a pregnancy
On the third day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me: three Follistem pens, two embryos and wishes for a pregnancy...

Stay tuned for more lyrics...maybe the next one I attempt will be "All I want for Christmas is my fertility."

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Some Fertile FaceBookers frustrate me

I have been wanting to write something about those darn fertile FaceBookers who post every little detail of their pregnancy or minute milestone in their children's lives for months, but for some reason have neglected to do so. It truly has become my biggest pet peeve. What pushed me over the edge and made me want to start drinking at 9:30 in the morning? It was an exchange of commentary that revolved around how kids are the whole reason that Christmastime is great.

I mean really, people. I don’t go around throwing my infertility in your face (I save that for my blog postings!) So, why do you have to throw your parenthood in mine?

And, I’m not talking about my friends who occasionally write something nice or funny about their pregnancy or kiddos. I’m all for reading about hilarious things their kids say, humorous pregnancy stories, anything involving hamsters getting stuck in between walls or a pickle up a kid’s nose. I’m talking about the people who have no other status updates except about their pregnancy or kids.

A few considerations:

Not everyone wants to hear about your belly button popping out because your cute little preggers tummy is getting “soooo” big.

I really don’t need to hear your woes about your lack of sleep because your baby wakes up four times during the night. Would you like to hear about my lack of sleep because I constantly am dreaming up new ways to try to get pregnant?

I don’t want to hear about how you have to find a pony for Suzie’s best birthday party ever!

I don’t want to know how many days and hours until your due date. Would you like me to give you the tally on the number of days I’ve been trying to get pregnant? I bet it quadruples the number of days of a gestational period.

Now, let’s all play by my rules.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Tis the season for cursing your uterus

Ahh, the holidays, it's the "most wonderful time of the year".  Well, that is unless you're infertile.  Don't get me wrong, I love the period between Thanskgiving and Christmas.  For me, it's the time of year of spoiling my niece and nephew rotten and eating cookies.  Hitting the Xmas party circuit and getting a few little presents ain't so bad, either.

Plus, not having children means that we don't have to wait in ridiculous lines to sit on Santa's lap, stay up til 5am on Christmas Eve putting together Santa's toys or try to keep a toddler in line during Christmas Mass. Of course, I would do all of these in a heartbeat, if we were so blessed.

Everything is so kid-centric this time of year that it's easy for the baby-making challenged to feel completely left out.  Even seeing Santa Claus makes me want to chuck a snowball at him for not bringing me what I really want for Xmas.  Seeing snowmen makes me crave a little one to bundle up and jealous of the ones who have one in their yards.  Don't even get me started on Xmas cards and end-of-year family letters...

Ooooo - bitter girl came out swinging today folks.  I'm really not even in a bad mood, but it felt good to get that off my non-sagging chest.  : )