So, I've written several rants or bitch sessions about frustrating fertile Facebookers. I know from your comments that many of you feel the same way about people who document every milestone of their pregnancies and post pictures of their children every ten minutes.
This totally annoying practice has made national headlines over the weekend. I found this article in the Washington Post about infertiles who are driven mad by pregnacy promoting people, even defriending baby makers for a while.
Just call me your trend-setting, cutting-edge infertile.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/10/24/AR2010102402642.html
Good article. I'm not on Facebook. As you may know from my blog, I get a very visceral reaction when I discover someone new is pregnant. It's dizzying and awful.
ReplyDeleteI read that article. It was great to see the frustrations of the IF community in a major newspaper.
ReplyDeleteBut it doesn't take away from your trend setting cutting edge-ness.
Finally someone out there can acknowledge this! I just sent this link to so many people! Thanks for posting!
ReplyDeleteLaura
I was lucky... my journey was short compared to some... still a year and a few cycles of Clomid was trying enough for me. In that time I got very used to hiding friends on facebook. Not everyone... just the ones that flog the daylights out of their pregnancy or children. "Look at the vid of XYZ rolling over/yelling/blowing bubbles/etc".
ReplyDeleteWhen my own time came I did make an announcement. (FB still remains the number one method of communicating a single message to the most number of people). It was very low key and aimed to be amusing more than anything. I've not posted about it again since.... nor have I put up ultrasound pics. My pregnancy is confined largely to my blog where even there I still feel guilty for those who are still following and battling. I feel guilty even for expressing the more uncomfortable aspects and fear that it would be insulting or viewed as a lack of appreciation of this amazing gift that I have.
Having this new life inside doesn't change how absolutely unbelievably annoying the constant updates are though. One of my blogger buddies who was in the fertility challenged basket has gone burko with constant complaints or posts, sometimes in capitals about her pregnancy. I wonder if she has lost touch with the poeple who follow her blog and those that she follows... My own exasperation is to the point that the "hide" option will be coming out to play.
Anyhow, I guess the point of all this big giant essay was to say that I think it is a certain personality type who feels the need to do the constant broadcast and I think it is those of a similar personality type who encourage it. (It is always the same bunch of people who always go "awwww isn't that cute etc".) For the rest it is as much of an annoyance. What makes it different for the folks who battle the fertility fight is that it isn't an annoyance confined to the five minutes on facebook... it is something which continues through every living minute of the day, in every breath, in every thought and hence, our cries of disgust are MUCH MUCH louder.
I'll have to look into this aricle...this is interesting. I kind of feel guilty because I'm a FB mom who posts a lot of cute things my children do and post pictures often...I am so damn proud though and went through so much just to be able to post that...so yeah, I'm going to post it. I have an infertile friend that often "likes" my posts...and I think it's because she knows what I went through and is inspired by that. Happy ICLW! (#72 & 106)
ReplyDeleteI don't get too upset (for the moment) when people announce their pregnancy on FB, however the other day, a friend posted her announcement by stating where she is registered for gifts. I thought that was really obnoxious. If you want to announce the pregnancy through FB, fine, but to announce it by stating where people can buy presents is too much. She got a few comments of congratulations, but no one mentioned the gift registry. I think fertiles and infertiles got annoyed by this.
ReplyDeleteI defaced myself (left facebook) a couple of years ago. It was less to do with the actual pregnancy announcement but more because women I hadn't spoken to since school were trying to befriend me, and almost all of them had their faces in their profile pictures obscured by one or more progeny. I decided it was easier to quit than refused their friendship (especially as one persistent person just didn't get the message).
ReplyDeletehttp://womb4improvement.blogspot.com/2009/02/defaced.html
For me, I have the same experience with family members and their babies...I do not have children, not because I didn't want them, it just hasn't happened. I will be 40 in January and I think it is time to throw in the towel.
ReplyDeleteBut, I can say it is extremely frustrating to have people post about how their baby blinked, sneezed, or has a cold, not to mention the hundreds of photos. I'm tired of it. It's not that I don't like babies, it is just that for the individuals that do have babies it's interesting to them, but not to the childless. In particular I feel that those with babies are critical pf me because I do not have a baby. Some more openly than others. They are also critical of my decision to own 3 dogs. It's my decision, nobody else is buying them food, treats or toys. Nobody else walks them or takes them to the vet. And they don't have to say goodbye when their time on this Earth is over. It is me. So why are people with babies such critical jackasses?? (Or is it just the people I know?)
Speak of the devil! I go to check my facebook account and there's a post from a relative (by marriage) about baby poop! Forget about reminding me of what I don't have, that's just TMI. Gross.
ReplyDeletePOSTING.ABOUT.EVERY.LITTLE.THING. *sigh*