Monday, July 20, 2009

I am the no prego pro

I am the no prego pro. Infertility warrior. Bunless oven. Can’t-make-a -baby veteran.

Five years, tens of thousands of dollars, 1611 pre-natal vitamins, 55 ovulation detection tests, 78 fertility drug injections, 16 pregnancy tests, 30 blood draws and ultrasounds and nine embryos, and I am still not pregnant. And that doesn’t even count the numbers from our gestational carrier who tried to carry our embryos last month.

I am a woman with a set of birthing hips proportionately larger than the rest of my body, and not one, but TWO uteruses (uteri? Seriously, I’m not kidding. I have a bicornuate uterus, which is basically one uterus split into two), I always thought that God had blessed me with more than enough of the proper equipment to get pregnant at the drop of a hat – or simply forgetting a condom or birth control pills, but so far, no such luck.

The fertility gods have had other plans.

Through all of the crazy ups and downs of the journey to have offspring, the one thing that my husband, Jack Bauer, and I have tried to do is keep our sense of humor and try to find the lighter side of infertility. Laughing is better than crying.

11 comments:

  1. Love your description - "I am the no prego pro. Infertility warrior. Bunless oven. Can’t-make-a -baby veteran." I am one too!

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  2. Here's my new joke to self, "I always knew I was one of a kind. Now I have proof." So here's to us - who are truly one of a kind!

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  3. my mother used to tell me the same thing. if i looked at some one the wrong way i would get pregnant. i too have those birthing hips... and no baby...

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  4. Thank you for the message on my blog. I often tell people when I'm smiling or laughing when maybe I shouldn't be that if I wasn't laughing I would be crying. The world outside IF would much rather see us laughing - it makes them feel better. At least someone is feeling better about it!

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  5. I'm beginning to be a bit proud of my not being able to get/stay knocked up rap sheet. I know, pathetic, isn't it?

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  6. Hi, found your blog on LFCA. I too have a big list of things that haven't worked to get us a baby. And I old - 43! We have a bicornuate uterus (mine is very severe, could be didelphic) in common too, but just to possibly give you hope I DID conceive naturally at age 36, and from that we have our miracle boy who is 7 now (obviously).

    Anyway, I wanted to share that since when we started IVF to expand our family after 4 years of trying the usual way, the docs all said, "well, you've carried a child to term so no problem if you use donor eggs" That was 3 cycles ago.

    BUT, now they want to perform a surgery to correct my uterus called the Straussman procedure. I am getting an MRI next Tuesday before we decide for sure. You may be interested in discussing this with your doc, supposedly this will be totally covered by my insurance (ha!)

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  7. Laughter is surely the best medicine. Keep laughing. Which I was able to do that when I was TTC.

    All the best in your endeavours.

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  8. Too quote a favourite movie... "Laughter through tears is my favourite emotion." We have to be able to laugh at ourselves at times in this process so that we can make it through the sad times.

    ~ICLW

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  9. I too believe in laughter. It's actually healthy, since so many people say that grief causes disease in the body. I guess I'm also a no preggo pro. sadly enough.
    to us!

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  10. At least I'm good at something - not getting pregnant!

    Yes, laughing at the absurdity of the whole thing keeps me sane.

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  11. You have been through so much. I agree that humour is essential. On that note, can I add to your list of ...78 fertility drug injections, 16 pregnancy tests, 30 blood draws and ultrasounds and nine embryos... and a partridge in a pear tree?

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