OK, so maybe I am exaggerating just a little bit, but that's how I'm feeling these days. We started the adoption process five years ago while simultaneously going through IVF treatments. We wanted both an adopted baby and bio baby.
Well, the bio baby didn't work out, and even though we had some grieving over that, we moved on and were OK.
On July 15, 2008 we found out that we were matched with our precious 7-month old boy from Vietnam. It was one of the happiest days of our life. We were supposed to travel to get him the following January - so about 6 months later. It has now been almost two years, and we still don't know when we will be able to go get him.
A lot of waiting adoptive parents say that they have "paper pregnancies" and I never really felt like that until recently. Patience is not one of my stronger virtues, so I am being tested beyond belief right now. And, I do feel "pregnant." I am feeling like I am in a nesting mode waiting for our son to come home, but I can't do much about it because I am too superstitious to buy him clothes or toys or decorate his room. Therefore, I have a lot of nervous energy and no place for it to go, at least until I am back in the states. Today, I tried running it all out, but my hips started hurting after 63 minutes on the treadmil.
I totally feel for any parents who have to wait longer than the requisite nine months for their child. And, especially for the adoptive families and the waiting children -- it's just not right and makes me question subjects that are bigger than I am.
By now, I could've had two and a half babies, if I were truly pregnant. But, I just want the one darling two-and-a-half year old who makes my heart stop when I see pictures of him and his big brown eyes.