I haven't had a very good week - it's all adoption related. More delays, more questions, more heartache. I take most of the adoption bad news much worse than I ever did when I get negative HPTs or betas because our adoption was pretty much supposed to be a done deal. And, all along, I have been realistic about my changes to get pregnant.
With all of the frustration and sadness that I'm feeling right now, I harken back to my failed ovulation induction and IVF cycles that didn't work. The feeling of being tired all of the time, keeping my head down so that I don't have to say "hello" when passing someone in the hall in my office, weeping at radio commercials of a private school discussing their commitment to a child's imagination.
And, while I don't think my bad moods are particularly constructive, I do think it's good to get it all out.
However, I also think there is something to be said for indulging yourself and doing something fun to take your mind off of things. Food and alcohol quickly became some of my therapies of choice. My preference: Oreos and white wine (chardonnay). I didn't say I had the most sophisticated taste, but I will say that polishing off a sleeve of Oreos and half a bottle of wine would make me happy for that moment.
The other quick fix for me was retail therapy - buying something I wanted with no abandon. This was typically not a great idea because infertility treatments were always at last $3,000 and some were up to $14,000 a piece. So, the last thing I needed was a $250 purse. Again, it made me feel a little better.
One of my favorite and most constructive things that makes me feel better is horseback riding. Horses are truly therapy to me - grooming them, cleaning stalls, riding, the smell of alfalfa. I love it all and it makes me feel good for a long period of time.
One girl I know even bought a BMW in her fertility-induced haze to ease the pain.
So, infertiles, what do you do besides cry when you get a negative result? How do you soothe the beast? Skydive, watch a rocom? Let me know!