I hate to be bitter and snarky, but sometimes it's hard, particularly with the start of the holiday season, and the focus on children - Santa, ToysRUs commercials and my one nemesis: Christmas cards with only kids photos on them.
So, this year, I am encouraging all infertility bloggers to participate in National Please Don't Send Me a Christmas Card with Only Your Kids Month. Let's save our friends their $0.44 stamp and have them refrain from addressing a card to us.
It drives me and Jack crazy to get cards that only have kids on them. What happened to the parents? After all, those are the people that we know. We want to see how they're doing, too.
Family photos with mom, dad, and kids are totally acceptable -- it's just the ones with only kids that drive us batty.
Bitter? Hell, yes. But, please respect our wishes this holiday season; it's just a reminder of what we want, but don't have.
And, if you want to add the NPDSMCCWOYKM badge to your blog for holiday season, shoot me an email at theinadequateconception@gmail.com and I will send you the file.
I'm glad to know I'm not the only one! It's a hard time of year!! Good luck with the adoption. My husband and I are a newly family in waiting!
ReplyDelete~Michelle
http://mmproper.blogspot.com
Love it!!!!
ReplyDeleteYES!!! I'm glad we're not the only ones...that has always driven me crazy! I agree its okay if its the whole family, just why leave out the parents?
ReplyDeleteI do feel strange about all the pictures of kids I get. I don't know if I want anyone's picture. I get my fill on facebook. I like regular thoughtfully chosen holiday cards. I wonder if I will feel differently when I am a mom and my child is the most gorgeous creature ever created.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand...
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this... love it! I always thought it was strange to send just photos of kids anyway. :) ICLW
ReplyDeleteHahahaha.Totally on board with this.
ReplyDeleteMy cousin and her husband always send out a family photo and it's definitely a refreshing change of pace from the kid-only ones.
The ones that really make me want to scream are the photo montages featuring a round up of the year's events -- Jimmy at the zoo, beach, amusement park, etc. Like the act of Christmas itself isn't enough, you have to remind me of all the things I'm missing out on 12 months of the year? Ugh.
I LOVE this. Happily I don't have friends who do this but if I did I would definitely get this badge. However, I do subject everyone I know to dog pictures and my christmas card will be of my dog-aughter. But everyone likes dogs, right?;-)
ReplyDeletexoxo
I totally agree! Family pictures still hurt, but pictures of your fabulous little one only? Painful! And to be completely honest, I don't even put those cards up on my wall!
ReplyDeleteICLW #117
Completely agree! Good luck on your journey, I look forward to reading about it!
ReplyDeleteOK, I *just* found your blog (love the name) from a list of IF blogs on an ultrasound site thingy that for some reason also included my blog (huh!), and THIS is the first post! I think I love you. I generally throw out all Christmas cards that even INCLUDE pictures of children so I don't have to look at them and be upset, but even if I weren't a basket-case, I would think it was totally socially inappropriate to turn Christmas into the Feast of the Opportunity to Send Unsolicited Baby Pictures. I am fine with Christmas cards that contain a picture of only one person (and that one an infant) provided, however, that it is JESUS CHRIST.
ReplyDeleteI agree it is very difficult getting the pictures of all the beautiful kids. I must admit though that since adopting our son I include a picture of him in our card. I figure since it took me 3 failed IVF's, 7 IUI's, an ectopic pregnancy and an international adoption I have earned the right to show him off. But I am still sensitive to fellow ifer's. After all I still am one.
ReplyDeleteICLW
Swinging in from ICLW. I am so relieved that there are other people who hate these cards as much as I do. I really look at the kids and say "who the hell is this?" I also tend to hide people from updates on FB who have a photo OF THEIR CHILD as their profile photo. Puhleaze. Highly annoying. I will gladly donate to the cause against!
ReplyDeleteI love you, Lulu!! Know that NPDSMCCWOYKM is important for everyone!! I know that many of your friends with kids have changed the way they think about photo holiday cards after seeing how difficult the hellidays have been for our beautiful friend.
ReplyDeleteHow about just " please don't send me Christmas cards, I hate the holdays"??
ReplyDeleteI've never been able to figure this out either. I don't mind getting family photos, or even kids photos, but once every few years, it would be nice to get one of the whole family. I have friends who send me pictures of their kids year after year after year, but I have absolutely no idea what they or their husband look like anymore.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand this. In my part of the world i was considered a freak and sometimes considered "Not Happy" painfully by my Husband among many others because i never wanted and did not attend baby showers, christenings etc.
ReplyDeleteI also did not like people saying things like "it is well", i come from a very highly religious place where the religiousness is totally at odds with the character of the people.
It was a scandal i did not want to go to Church, did not want a miracle from Benny Hinn when he visited Nigeria.
After 6 years of 2 sucessful IVF's resulting in marriages, a dozen diagnosis from Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome to One blocked tube to mental instability to a Retroverted Uterus, countless Doctors in Nigeria, the UK, the US, and several millions down the line (drain sounds not right because i think you sometimes have to go through all this to get to "Hurray") a simple test that cost nothing changed my life.
Its a long story but involved a Vaginal examination, a test all my fancy Dr's forgot or felt was not that important with all the fancy gadgets around.
I always hated people patronizing me but i feel i have earned the right to say i totally understand the pain and considered adoption at the ten year mark which is really spooky now because i got 2 beautiful girls (i will not and do not put their pictures out there, i just know how it can seem insensitive. I am so proud of them but what would be the point of displaying them to women who are still on the path to what i know will be their joy!) and sadly a divorce after all that waiting at the ten year mark.
I am a Doctor and my greatest joy would be to share with anyone interested how i got to here -4 years after i cannot believe it still and i still feel the pain, doubt i will ever take it for granted and want to say, my situation seemed so hopeless, i truly believe it is going to happen for you - its a question of time.
I sooo agree.....my sister this year thought it would be wonderful for to have pictures taken for our parents....a group picture for the parents of my sister, her son, our brother and his daughter and me. I nearly burts into tears when she suggested it. I told her it would be a constant reminder to me that I have no children and that she could gladly do it with my brother or maybe we could just do a portrait of the 3 of us no kids. Now they aren't doing it and I'm the "bad" guy for not wanting to do it!
ReplyDeleteI like to respond to cards of only children pictured with cards of only my pets pictured. Plus, my dogs are usually better behaved than their children.
ReplyDeleteI actually think if someone knows you are infertile it is extremely insensitive to send you a Christmas card of their children. We can say that they mean well... but really, they are just NOT thinking.
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU, THANK YOU! I'm not looking forward to this at all! I can't even send out our own cards this year because I'm too sad that we can't send photos of my husband and I with a pregnant belly.
ReplyDeleteThis is pure AWESOME!!! And I was the same way as the last person to leave a comment, Lisa. First year I did not send out cards and it was for that very reason!!!!
ReplyDelete