Monday, December 27, 2010

All of the crap without the benefit

I've often puffed my chest out and bragged about how my boobs still look great at 38 years and how it will take me much longer to have a leaky bladder than my fortunate fertile friends. If I'm not going to be able to get pregnant, then I want to reap the rewards of not having hemorrhoids or stretch marks across my abdomen.

However, I currently have two "symptoms" of pregnancy that I would rather not.

First, even though I have a large pair of birthing hips and sizable thighs (which I argue help me run half-marathons. Anyway...), I have always had a rockin' flat stomach. No six-pack, but no flab, either. Except that right now, there is what appears to be a three- to four-month pregnant belly - and no, there is not a bun in this oven. It's fat.

I guess I can blame the stress of our adoption on it and the fact that I can justify eating ice cream or making some break and bake cookies because we got bad news. I weighed less in China because I couldn't get all of the wonderfully processed food of the good ol' USA, but now that I'm back - I can go back to binging on Oreos and cheese-flavored popcorn.

So, I will be doing a major overhaul to my eating and trying to find a new way to deal with my tension (and I do workout, so maybe I now need two-a-days). And, I will start doing sit-ups like there's no tomorrow.

The second lovely physical issue is that my right arm has been falling asleep and going numb while I sleep. It's quite painful and a little scary. I talked to a massage therapist about it and she confirmed that I had quite a bit of tension in an area that would impact this. She also said that it's something that happens to pregnant women a lot because of the way they carry their weight and slump their shoulders more forward than normal.

So, there you go. All of the crap without the benefit. Wasn't there a beer commercial with some similar tag line: All of the taste and none of the guilt?

Of course, I'd be happy to have both of these symptoms and many more like morning sickness, swollen feet, and dirt cravings if I could get pregnant.


  1. oh man, sorry about that arm. And the belly....I have that one too. :-/

    New year's resolution...get rid of the bellies! LOL

    I SO totally agree with that last statement

  2. Oh, I so understand where you're coming from - I get the best pregnancy symptoms while not being pregnant, too. I'm also in serious need of any real workout routine and general better eating habits after all the endless amounts of holiday food.

    I also just realized I still had Fertility Foibles linking on my blog but now it's pointing here. Always appreciate knowing your voice is out there for infertiles everywhere! :)

  3. Sorry about the tummy and arm. I've got a non-baby bump myself. Sit ups sound like a mighty fine idea.

  4. I can't wait to read your book. I'm not in the US, so don't know anything of the furore over your blog post or about what happened in China, but I'm sure I'll find out. Happy New Year.

    Lisa (ICLW 74 Your Great Life)

  5. Boo on those kind of symptoms.. major boo. I think if a woman can't have a biological child or is having trouble TTC then she should be exempt from all girly problems. No cramps, etc. It's a painful reminder. Blah.
    I hope the new year treats you extremely well. *hugs*

    M3MU (Failed Genetics)