She and her husband have been married more than 13 years, and are also in the process of trying to adopt a little boy from Vietnam (but it's not going well).
Despite being able to belt out a whooping 22 eggs during a retrieval and her husband's off-the-chart sperm count, they have never been able to conceive. Throughout their quest to bring a baby into their lives, they have tried to keep our sanity and sense of humor and find the lighter side of infertility. Thus, she wrote The Inadequate Conception - From Barry White to Blastocytes: What your mom didn't tell you about getting pregnant in hopes that she can bring a little humor to a depressing and heartbreaking topic.
She is available for print, radio, TV and e-mail interviews as well as speaking engagements, including the topics of infertility, international adoption, and making the best out of difficult issues. Contact her at theinadequateconception@gmail.com
I just stumbled across your blog after reading the AOL article...and I love it!!! I am 30 years old, just starting in the infertility game. They believe I have PCOS and I just finished my first round of Clomid. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, but my intuition is telling me that this is going to be a long road. I appreciate your willingness to write about your experience and bring some humor to it. I'm a new follower, Thanks! Courtney
ReplyDeleteHi Lori, I saw the article quoting you in ParentDish and had to respond.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds to me like your fertility issues are autoimmune in nature. Very few doctors know anything about this or even what to look for. Worse, most doctors will dismiss or even disparage autoimmune issues as a causal factor. Yet autoimmune issues account for most "unexplained" infertility cases.
There are a few specialists scattered across the country: Dr. Kawk-Kim in Chicago; Dr. Sher in Las Vegas; Dr. Zouves in San Francisco; Drs. Stricker and Trobough in San Jose and Dr. Coulam in Chicago.
Of these, Dr. Kwak in Chicago has the most experience, and I have her to thank for my successful pregnancies. her number is 847-247-6900.
Dr. Stricker's website is www.repro-med.net. It has the most useful information; most of it was assembled by the late Dr. Alan Beer, who was Dr. Kwak's mentor and partner for many years.
Dr. Beer also wrote a book, "Is Your Body Baby-Friendly?" which explains the autoimmune issues that can thwart pregnancy in layman's terms.
Dr. Sher's website is also quite informative: www.haveababy.com.
Another helpful resource, especially when you're just trying to sort out the autoimmune question, is a Yahoo group called Immunology Support. It's a public group so you can see messages without joining, but the real gold mine there is in the extensive files section you can access if you join. I have that files section to thank for my son's existence.
I can also recommend Dr. Hesla at Oregon Reproductive Medicine, and Dr. Schoolcraft at Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine, as the two best IVF docs in the country (backed up by their success rates on the CDC website). It's worth the trip for either one (voice of experience here!).
I hope some of this helps...I have seen a happy number of women go on to have successful pregnancies after I sent them to Dr. Kwak. I hope with all my heart that you become one of them too!
And as for being mistaken for my children's grandmother, yes, I've gotten a few (and I mean like once a year) comments of that sort, but they were never mean-spirited. To a one, they were made by people my age who had their children young and now had grandchildren the age of mine. They weren't judging, but merely trying to find conversational common ground with someone they perceived as a contemporary.
So that's all the wisdom I have to impart. I wish you the very, very best of luck.
Dawn
(who has been where you are and is rooting for you!)
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ReplyDeleteWow,
ReplyDeleteCan I just say, I feel for you, been there done that, are stories were so simular. Don't Give Up, Miracles Do happen. Me & my husband surprisingly conceived after being childless for 14 years, and got another big surprise at my 20 wk ultrasound, Twins... I just sent you an email. Thank You for sharing, Rebecca
I also have been trying to conceive for going on 11 years. I am now 40 and my husband is 49. I have now for 11 years had a hard time with Christmas. Getting the cards in the mail with pictures of friends children and the news letters telling you what wonderful things their children are doing. I find any get together with my in-laws hard. All they do is talk about their kids and my father in law asking when are you two going to give us more grandchildren and my mother in law telling me she is praying for us to have a child. They might not be thinking about what they are saying and that it is painful for me to hear over and over. The worst thing my mother in law ever said to me was that my husband and I don't have a life with out children. I hope your adoption process moves along and you get the son you deserve. Best wishes.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I found your blog! I'm 28 and my hubby and I have been TTC for almost a year ... I know that dosn't sound like much at all for those trying so much longer but its still heartache none the less. After several meds from my ob that made me into the wicked witch of the west, I decided to take the nutritionalist route who determined that I have too much estrogen due to being on bc 2 years ago. So, I'm currently on a 3 month supplement called DIM (estrogen metabolizer) and progesterone cream. I hope that 2011 is going to be my year but I'm afraid to hope too much because of the disappointment that may follow. With 13 women in my life curently expecting (two relatives), its hard for me to get out of bed every morning and even harder still for the 13 showers I am expected to attend (for relatives, I have to PLAN and ATTEND). If I do ever succeed in having a daughter .... she's never ever taking birth control! even if it means she makes me a grandmother a bit early ... LOL
ReplyDeleteCame across ur blog from the link to your article that someone posted on the fertility forum. I admire the strength in you to be able to share your story and even try bring a smile on our faces.
ReplyDeleteGood luck for the adoption.
We are struggling to have a baby as well and just completed one Ivf cycle that failed. Reading you inspires me n at the same time scares me about what I may have to be prepared for.
Lori,
ReplyDeleteYou and Nick are wonderful people and I am glad to call you my friends. Congrats on the book. I am sure it will bring comfort to those in similiar situations. I wish it was available 14 years ago when we were having the same problem. Best wishes to you, Nick, and the book!
Jeff S. SLC, Utah
Hi Lori (AKA travel buddy),
ReplyDeleteSounds like your book project has just gone fantastically. Three cheers for you -- classic lemonade-from-lemons solution to this elephant in the room.
FYI - at almost 46, I have been pleased to feel like I fit in just fine with the other parents of my kindergarten-aged kids' classmates. OK, so if I go broke and can't afford to dye my hair anymore I'll be in trouble, but until then I look like everybody else. Helps to live in the 'burbs where lots of folks wait to start families, I guess. I do have high school classmates with grandkids the same age as my kids, so I guess I'm glad I don't live in extreme rural Ohio anymore.
Keep up the good work!
Angela
I just read an article about you in the Indy Star and ordered your book. I was just reading a section about St.Gerard, the patron saint of motherhood. Not only do I have a pendant, Gerard is my husband's middle name!
ReplyDeleteI am half way through your book and it is very comforting to know that I'm not alone. Thanks for sharing your story.
ReplyDeleteI had a malformed uterus as well.
My uterus had a horn on one side and a normal half on the other. I had a half uterus when we tried to conceive because the doctor wanted me to get the horn removed after they discovered it to prevent from having a ectopic pregnancy since we were so fervent in trying to get pregnant. My uterus was smaller but viable and it would be harder for us to conceive than most women my age.