Yesterday was Jack and my 13th wedding anniversary. First of all, I would like to say that we were married when I was 17 years old, but that would be a lie.
My guess is that there aren't many couples in the U.S. who have been married as long as we have without children. If we conceived on our honeymoon, we would've had a seventh grader by now.
One of the many reasons I married Jack (besides his rugged Keifer Sutherland-like looks) was because of his amazingly awesome daddy potential, and thus far he hasn't been able to realize that. I hate that more than anything. Still, our marriage is as strong as any I know, even with some of the most stressful circumstances that any couple should ever have to face. I love you, baby.
I've been a bad, bad blogger recently, but I've had a lot going on - trying to raise $3 million for the non-profit that I'm president of, editing my proofs for my book, and one thing that was incredibly awesome. As many of you know, I am a firm believer in exercise to take away stress and clear your mind. And, on Sunday, I did a 5-hour adventure race with two of my best friends. I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to challenge herself. For two days, I didn't obsess about the adoption or think about the fact that I don't have kids because I was nervous about moutain biking, repelling and zip lining.
It truly was one of the most fun days I've ever had, and made me feel physically and mentally strong.
Infertiles, you are tougher than you think. Hang in there. More funny soon!
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Bravo Dr. Edwards!
My eyes are only half open right now. I'm about to fall asleep, but I just wanted to say congratulations and felicitations to the literal father of IVF, Dr. Robert Edwards, for his Nobel Prize for medicine.
Although his brilliant discovery has never worked for me, I know it has for tens of thousands of happy, happy families.
And, I would never have experienced the hopeful feeling of trying everything possible to conceive if it weren't for his research.
Now, if he could just make an exterior uterus that could grow the embryos, we might be in business.
Although his brilliant discovery has never worked for me, I know it has for tens of thousands of happy, happy families.
And, I would never have experienced the hopeful feeling of trying everything possible to conceive if it weren't for his research.
Now, if he could just make an exterior uterus that could grow the embryos, we might be in business.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Acne at 37?!?!
For the last couple of weeks, my face has been breaking out just like it did in high school. Back in my teenage years, I used gallon upon gallon of Tinted Oxy 10 which not only dried up my zits, but it also covered them up - what a great invention for ultra-self conscience teens.
Anyway, as an adult, I get an occasional pimple, but nothing that concerns me that much. But, I had to raise it to alert level red when three massive ones appeared last week and decided to take measures to have a blemish-free face again.
I went to see my aesthetician to get a facial to dry and balance my oil field of a face. When I showed her my constellation of pimples on my face, she immediately said, "Are you pregnant?"
I said, "Sadly, no, but I wish I was." What gives? The symptoms without the result. Ends up, it was a result of stress, but I had already figured that out.
Several years ago when I was going through fertility treatments and taking loads of follistims and other hormones, I treated myself to a facial. This one was just for fun, not because I had an issues, or so I thought. As the aesthetician analyzed, plucked and poked my skin, and she said, "Is there something stressful going on in your life?" I wasn't aware that in addition to a facial, I was also paying for a therapy session, but I figured I should answer so I could find out why she asked me.
I told her about all of the fertility meds and the stress of it all, and she immediately empathized and said solemnly, "oh..."
My entire life, people have said I look younger than I am, but this threw my sense of my appearance into a tailspin.
So, I walked out with $210 of products. She was either a really sneaky salesperson, or I looked like a wreck and didn't realize it.
My Tinted Oxy 10 is only $3.49 a bottle. I think I'll head to the pharmacy.
Anyway, as an adult, I get an occasional pimple, but nothing that concerns me that much. But, I had to raise it to alert level red when three massive ones appeared last week and decided to take measures to have a blemish-free face again.
I went to see my aesthetician to get a facial to dry and balance my oil field of a face. When I showed her my constellation of pimples on my face, she immediately said, "Are you pregnant?"
I said, "Sadly, no, but I wish I was." What gives? The symptoms without the result. Ends up, it was a result of stress, but I had already figured that out.
Several years ago when I was going through fertility treatments and taking loads of follistims and other hormones, I treated myself to a facial. This one was just for fun, not because I had an issues, or so I thought. As the aesthetician analyzed, plucked and poked my skin, and she said, "Is there something stressful going on in your life?" I wasn't aware that in addition to a facial, I was also paying for a therapy session, but I figured I should answer so I could find out why she asked me.
I told her about all of the fertility meds and the stress of it all, and she immediately empathized and said solemnly, "oh..."
My entire life, people have said I look younger than I am, but this threw my sense of my appearance into a tailspin.
So, I walked out with $210 of products. She was either a really sneaky salesperson, or I looked like a wreck and didn't realize it.
My Tinted Oxy 10 is only $3.49 a bottle. I think I'll head to the pharmacy.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
More fun with pregnancy tests
I realize that something may be wrong with me that I've been having fun with negative pregnancy tests lately (see Yes, I have a fistful of pregnancy tests), but that's what infertility can do to some people.
My experiment today was with a Chinese pregnancy test. As some of you know, I lived in China for 10 months (just got back to the U.S. in July). Before I left, I wanted to buy a Chinese HPT to see if there was any difference than the U.S. versions, and not that I needed it. Again, this was just for fun; I have no grand ideas that it could have been because sperm actually met egg.
Here's the rundown:
I went into a pharmacy to buy it and had to use some hand gestures around my stomach to get the pharmacists to understand what I was talking about. My Mandarin knowledge does not include any vocabulary about HPTs or "missed periods." Luckily, they figured out what I was saying pretty quickly and directed me back to the one option for an HPT. The name of the test was in Chinese and English which is a good thing, because the name is hilarious: Human Chorionic Gonadotropin Rapid Diagnostic Kit - what a mouthful!
No, not Clearblue Easy or First Response, the actual clinical name for the test. I kind of like that - no glazing over what it is; coming right out and saying what it is.
The test itself looks exactly like any stick test in the U.S. I checked the instructions and they were all in Chinese except for "Human Chorionic Gonadotropin Rapid Diagnostic Kit"; so I just went for it like I would any other HPT.
Disclaimer: I was sure I was NOT pregnant. Again, I was just doing this for a laugh and to educate Americans about Chinese pregnancy tests. After all, I'm sure that's where ours are made.
So, I peed on it and within seconds, a single pink line showed up. I had no idea how long I was supposed to wait, but it was clear that no other line or "plus sign" was going to appear.
Of course, I didn't consider the fact that perhaps a single line is a positive result in Chinese. Hmmmm... maybe I need to go get a U.S. one and double check.
So, I encourage you to think about all of the useful things you can do with a negative test stick. They make great coffee stirs, as long as you make sure you're using the non-pee end. Have a table that's off balance? HPTs can make a great shim. I figure that I've taken enough over the last six years that I could gather them all up and let my nephew use them to create a model of a fort, instead of using popsicle sticks (I really don't save the damn things, just wanted to give you a visual).
Can you imagine the landfill thats been created as a result of all of the used HPTs?
My experiment today was with a Chinese pregnancy test. As some of you know, I lived in China for 10 months (just got back to the U.S. in July). Before I left, I wanted to buy a Chinese HPT to see if there was any difference than the U.S. versions, and not that I needed it. Again, this was just for fun; I have no grand ideas that it could have been because sperm actually met egg.
Here's the rundown:
I went into a pharmacy to buy it and had to use some hand gestures around my stomach to get the pharmacists to understand what I was talking about. My Mandarin knowledge does not include any vocabulary about HPTs or "missed periods." Luckily, they figured out what I was saying pretty quickly and directed me back to the one option for an HPT. The name of the test was in Chinese and English which is a good thing, because the name is hilarious: Human Chorionic Gonadotropin Rapid Diagnostic Kit - what a mouthful!
No, not Clearblue Easy or First Response, the actual clinical name for the test. I kind of like that - no glazing over what it is; coming right out and saying what it is.
The test itself looks exactly like any stick test in the U.S. I checked the instructions and they were all in Chinese except for "Human Chorionic Gonadotropin Rapid Diagnostic Kit"; so I just went for it like I would any other HPT.
Disclaimer: I was sure I was NOT pregnant. Again, I was just doing this for a laugh and to educate Americans about Chinese pregnancy tests. After all, I'm sure that's where ours are made.
So, I peed on it and within seconds, a single pink line showed up. I had no idea how long I was supposed to wait, but it was clear that no other line or "plus sign" was going to appear.
Of course, I didn't consider the fact that perhaps a single line is a positive result in Chinese. Hmmmm... maybe I need to go get a U.S. one and double check.
So, I encourage you to think about all of the useful things you can do with a negative test stick. They make great coffee stirs, as long as you make sure you're using the non-pee end. Have a table that's off balance? HPTs can make a great shim. I figure that I've taken enough over the last six years that I could gather them all up and let my nephew use them to create a model of a fort, instead of using popsicle sticks (I really don't save the damn things, just wanted to give you a visual).
Can you imagine the landfill thats been created as a result of all of the used HPTs?
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Probably TMI, but it's worth it
Just wanted to share the summary of my book that's coming out in about two months, The Inadequate Conception - From Barry White to Blastocytes: What your mom didn't tell you about getting pregnant. Feel free to stop by the FaceBook page too, as I will be updating it with information as it gets closer to launch.
Truly, the reason I wrote this book and put all of this “out there” is to help other couples who have difficulties getting pregnant. And, if I can make one person laugh after all of the tears, I think telling you about my vaginal ultrasounds and sex on a schedule was worth it.
I am the no prego pro, infertility warrior, bunless oven, can’t-make-a-baby veteran. It has taken six years and tens of thousands of dollars to achieve this distinction, and more specifically, 1,611 prenatal vitamins, 78 fertility drug injections, 55 ovulation detection tests, 40 blood draws, 33 ultrasounds, 16 pregnancy tests, and 11 embryos to confirm it. Still, throughout this not-so-fun numbers game (I always thought that procreating was supposed to be much, much more enjoyable), I have tried very hard to look at the lighter side of our struggles to conceive: Betting to see whose sperm count is higher and performing a strip tease in a hospital room are not things that I ever thought I’d be part of, yet here I am, willing to disclose the details of some very intimate incidents.
Whether a couple needs two tries to get pregnant or two hundred, most can relate to calculating menstrual cycles and trying to decipher ovulation test sticks. And there can be plenty of funny incidents and awkward and absurd moments along the way, whether trying to get sperm to meet egg involves candlelight and Barry White or Petri dishes and blastocytes. The Inadequate Conception tells the author’s and others’ real-life stories of trying to find two blue lines on a pregnancy test.
Truly, the reason I wrote this book and put all of this “out there” is to help other couples who have difficulties getting pregnant. And, if I can make one person laugh after all of the tears, I think telling you about my vaginal ultrasounds and sex on a schedule was worth it.
I am the no prego pro, infertility warrior, bunless oven, can’t-make-a-baby veteran. It has taken six years and tens of thousands of dollars to achieve this distinction, and more specifically, 1,611 prenatal vitamins, 78 fertility drug injections, 55 ovulation detection tests, 40 blood draws, 33 ultrasounds, 16 pregnancy tests, and 11 embryos to confirm it. Still, throughout this not-so-fun numbers game (I always thought that procreating was supposed to be much, much more enjoyable), I have tried very hard to look at the lighter side of our struggles to conceive: Betting to see whose sperm count is higher and performing a strip tease in a hospital room are not things that I ever thought I’d be part of, yet here I am, willing to disclose the details of some very intimate incidents.
Whether a couple needs two tries to get pregnant or two hundred, most can relate to calculating menstrual cycles and trying to decipher ovulation test sticks. And there can be plenty of funny incidents and awkward and absurd moments along the way, whether trying to get sperm to meet egg involves candlelight and Barry White or Petri dishes and blastocytes. The Inadequate Conception tells the author’s and others’ real-life stories of trying to find two blue lines on a pregnancy test.
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