Sunday, January 10, 2010

Psyching myself up

I had plans today to meet a girlfriend for lunch. As I was driving to the restaurant to meet her, I remembered that just a few days ago she told me she was pregnant. I think I must've blocked it from my short-term memory.

Don't get me wrong. I am thrilled that this couple is pregnant. They are wonderful people and good friends, and it's their first baby, so it's not like I have a big resentment as I sometimes do when I hear of second and third babies coming along (sorry, but it truly is an involuntary reaction).

Anyway, as soon as I made the realization that I'd have to face her in person and see her growing pooch, I started having to take deep breaths because I got a weird feeling in my stomach.

Having to ask a newly pregnant woman how she's feeling, if she can still wear her regular clothes or if she'll find out the sex is about as hard for me as it is for Jon Gosselin to look like a devoted husband, father and stand-up guy. And, while it is hard enough to ask the interested questions, it's almost more difficult to hear the answers.

I can't relate to any answers, and find myself saying things like, "Oh yeah, me, too. I'd totally find out the sex if I could get pregnant." Or, since I can't throw in my own anecdotes, I use ones from my sister or friends. "You know, vitamin E is best for preventing stretch marks." Whaa- whow - just call me Debbie Downer.

I made it through lunch unscathed. Like I said, I adore this couple and truly am happy for them.

And, what was in the water last April? Tons of people I know are due in February. Must've missed out on some fertile H2O.

4 comments:

  1. Totally with you on this one and dealing with sister-in-law right now. Kind of thankful she lives several hours away so I don't have to see the growing belly much.

    I drink bottled water - maybe that's the problem? ;)

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  2. Hello!

    My name is Elisabeth, and I am an infertility / repeated pregnancy loss "veteran". You can read a little bit about me and my experiences in my blog: drhousewife.blogspot.com . I am completing a PhD in Counseling Psychology, and my dissertation is focused upon the impact of infertility on marriage. I believe strongly that there is a need for better support services for men and women who are undergoing IF diagnosis and treatment, and my hope is that this study will aid in the development of such services.

    I am contacting you after stumbling across your blog. I am recruiting participants for my study, and wanted to invite you and your husband to take part. All that would be involved would be the completion of an online survey, that would take approximately 20 minutes. All couples who complete the surveys will receive a voucher good for a pair of free movie tickets at a Regal Cinemas.

    Please let me know if you are interested by emailing me at UTInfertilityResearch@gmail.com .

    Best,
    Elisabeth

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  3. Yup BRUTAL, isnt it - I too have some sorta thou is having another baby thing in my head (and yeah I will never be able to swap knocked up tales so I just can not relate, KWIM).
    Glad you came off unscathed.

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  4. I totally get the extra bit of resentment when numbers two and three come along...

    Good to hear that overall things went okay.

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