I've decided to become a surrogate. What?! You say. Has she had a uterus replacement surgery or some other wild treatment? And, why oh why is she being a surrogate for someone else instead of carrying a baby for her self?
Well, friends. It's because I have just become an alcohol surrogate for a friend who is pregnant. My warped or funny sense of humor (depending on how you see it) thought of this earlier this week. Two of my girlfriends and I meet for what are usually called Winey Wednesdays once a month and we split a bottle of wine (at a great restaurant that has them 50% off those nights). Anyway, since she can't drink, I designated myself as her alcohol surrogate.
I'm not a lush by any stretch of the imagination. One frozen margarita at our favorite cheap Mexican restaurant usually has me out and drooling on the couch by 8:30. But, I will sacrifice my body for her and any time she she wants a glass of wine, she can call me and I'll happily partake on her behalf.
I'd also be happy to become a surrogate of other things for pregnant people: a sushi surrogate, soft cheese surrogate, coffee/caffeine surrogate, deli meat surrogate (though I really only like turkey), and a flying in your last trimester surrogate (depending on where you want to go)...
I draw the line at becoming someone's litter box cleaner surrogate though.