For infertiles, this is something that after the second or third IVF - sometimes sooner and sometimes later - becomes something that completely occupies our mind. When have we given it everything we have to get pregnant?
Excerpt from The Inadequate Conception:
I’ve never been a quitter. I’ve always believed that if you work hard enough and put your mind to something, almost anything is achievable. In every other life pursuit that I’ve had, this theory has, for the most part, been accurate. But that’s not how it works in the infertility world. It’s a dimension where just because you flushed your birth control pills, have sex when you’re ovulating, or you get a major head start by having five day old embryos implanted, doesn’t mean you’ll get pregnant.
But, if you’ve been going through this stuff long enough, at some point, you may decide that it’s time to throw in the towel (or time to burn your menstrual cycle charts in the fireplace). There are plenty of reasons:
• Your frustration level is causing you to resemble the Wicked Witch of the West (“I’ll get you my little preggies, and your little diaper bag, too.”)
• You’re near financial ruin
• You’ve filled a landfill with ovulation test sticks and negative pregnancy tests
• Your age is now closer to that of a grandmother than a first-time mom
• You’ve achieved what some might consider “stalker status” with your fertility doctor
• It’s too hard to keep hoping and praying, only for a negative home pregnancy test or single-digit beta level to blow that dream to shreds
I know there are tons more. What didn't I list?
I hate that we are forced to make the decision at all - sucks!
ReplyDeleteYou're closing in on the upper age limit to be considered as adoptive parents, and you have to be finished with infertility treatments before you can begin the adoption process.
ReplyDeleteYou're so financially broke, that you had to use a credit card to buy your groceries (true story, but I'm not done yet).
ReplyDeleteThis is Kim from ICLW... I noticed that you wrote a book. Visit us and email me if you'd like to do a book discussion with us. :o)
Come join us at the The Ladies in Waiting Book Club.
We're a group of ladies, all surviving IF treatments... reading books and making conversation. :o) All are welcome.