Thursday, February 24, 2011

Only infertiles...

Only infertiles...

Are excited that we feel pukey and nauseated post IVF or IUI

Curse toliet paper

Can easily pick out our ovaries and follicles on an ultrasound with no training

Are thrilled when our breasts are engorged and veiny

Can track our cycles with the precision of a military operation

Can give ourselves an injection of horse urine blindfolded

Tear up in Target when we see "My First Christmas" onesies and peanut-sized Halloween costumes

Have our REs on speed dial

Feel a bitter twinge when we hear pregnancy announcements

Call our pets furbabies for lack of the "real" thing

Have sex on doctor's orders

I'm missing a ton of things. What else?


  1. Wear orange throughout an IVF cycle because apparently the fertility chakra is orange! ;)

  2. Visiting from ICLW...and had to laugh at your post because even has an infertile trying to adopt a lot of the items ring true!! Glad to see you are trying to keep your sense of humor and sanity!!

  3. Can carry on a conversation made up alomst entirely of acronyms.

  4. Happy ICLW!!

    Thanks for giving me a laugh today...

    Only infertiles

    -don't blush at the thought of an internal exam

    -takes photos of used pee sticks to compare

    -can talk openly about cervical mucus

  5. Only infertiles know every.single.detail about how the body works and how to get pregnant. We just can't actually do it...

  6. I wear orange to all my appointments during my cycles!

    That's so funny to see someone else does it too!

  7. - Can stand in Downward Facing Dog while downing bottles of Tang Quei and sticking our abdomen with acupuncture needles.

  8. Only infertiles can carry a grudge against the actresses on hpt commercials (I particularly dislike the lady on the First Response commercials).


  9. Hi from ICLW. Everything you said is right on. I'm especially guilty of the furbaby one. I tell my dog on the time she's my baby and she's the "cutest girl in the world." I also have a sling to carry her in (she hates it though). Go ahead and laugh everyone, I don't care! I treat my dog like a baby :p

  10. Only infertiles plan their travel schedule around ovulation and are more interested in getting in their husband's/partner's pants than an acne-riddled teenage boy.

    I love your outlook and humor - I'm adding you to my blogroll.

  11. - Would give anything to see their waistline expand.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog and for your kind words =)

  12. Have mastered peeing on a stick.

    Can buy pads and a pregnancy test at the same time without blinking an eye.

    Heart drops when she spots another woman sipping water at a party.

    Lay 30 minutes ankles up after sex.

    And will try pretty much anything you mention from foods to teas to oils to inspirational mantras to get knocked up.

    A friend of mine who doesn't want children once said to me "it's so funny everything you do in a month to get pregnant and everything I do to not get pregnant."

  13. LOVE IT!!!!


  14. can diagnose a missed miscarriage on an ultrasound screen.

    can literally feel their blood pressure spike just because they walked onto the floor of the building their RE/OB has an office on.

    Good luck in your future pursuit of parenthood.

    ICLW #19

  15. Left a completed HPT on the counter just in case it turned any hint of positive during the day.