Borrowing a line from one of my very favorite Web sites, I'd just like to give a shout out to all of the fertiles who say stupid and insensitive things to those of us who either:
1. Can't have children due to infertility
2. Decide not to have children at all.
While deciding what wonderful words of wisdom to opine about today, I immediately sat up straight on the couch (as opposed to lounging comfortably), when I read the following FaceBook post from a friend of mine who decided not to have children:
...got quite irritated today when a random lady at yoga incessently debated my very personal decision not to have children like our 30 second relationship entitled her to make life choices for me...
Apparently my friend, who is a huge dog lover and rescuer, and Ms. Have-a-baby-or-your-life-is-meaningless were talking about caring for canines, and the Babymaker told her that people who have pets are good with children. Excuse me lady, but have you heard of Michael Vick?
She went on to tell my dogophile pal that she "seriously needs to reconsider having children" because once she has them she "will realize that my world is now incomplete and unfulfilling."
Ahem... Excuse me Ruiner-of-friend's-Zen-from-yoga, but I beg to differ. Firstly, my girlfriend's decision not to have kids is none of your effing business. That's a highly personal decision that you just stomped all over. What if she told you that should stop breeding so that no more idiots were entering society?
Second of all, there are millions of us who can't conceive, can't get our adoptions to move forward, can't afford more fertility treatments and/or adoption, and can't bear to continue trying to have our hearts broken.
I have news for Ms. Asshat. I bet I lead a more full life without children than she does with, and I know my amazing girlfriend does. I won't tick off a list of accomplishments or things in my life that I'm happy about, but I could and it would probably kick hers in the tail.
Zip your lip and mind your own beeswax.
Preach on! What is it about the subject of family building (or not) that makes all these ass clowns think we want their opinions?
ReplyDeleteICLW #6
Too many people think their "advice" is necessary. I wish those people would mind their business... ICLW
ReplyDeleteWow some people are just idiots and need to keep their mind shut. Happy ICLW!
ReplyDeleteA-freakin-men, sista! You are an incredible writer and I feel so honored to have provided a very small bit of inspiration to your amazingness. Well, I guess that *I* didn't provide the inspiration .. the Asshat in my yoga class did .. but you know what I mean. And, seriously, I can not *wait* to call her Asshat because that name is so fitting.
ReplyDeleteJen
"Ms. Asshat" - love it! Thanks for stopping by my blog.
ReplyDeleteAwesome! Awesome! Awesome! Now, I do have one child, and now suffering from secondary infertility and I can remember VERY well that my life was AWESOME before I had my daughter (not saying I don't love my life now, but that I could have also had a fulfilling and wonderful life child-less if I had to). I can't believe some of the things I have heard people say...and to be child-less by choice is a personal decision that I am sure she didn't make light-heartedly. I hope she down-ward dog's right in that lady's face next time. Stupid Ms. Asshat!
ReplyDeleteVIsiting from ICLW!
ReplyDeleteI used to sternly look people in the eye, and tell them that there were two reasons that people don't have children. Either they don't want them or can't have them. That 'usually' ended the conversation.
Looking forward to following your blog!
Sometimes I think those people are just jealous. If they were truly thankful and happy with their life, they wouldn't have time for such ignorant judgement of others' lives. UGH.
ReplyDelete