Sunday, May 15, 2011

Why going to the dentist reminds me of my childlessness

Sometimes it's the oddest places that make me think about my childlessness - not the traditional McDonald's playland, school yard, church or Dugger house (19 and Counting), rather Home Depot (dad and son picking out tools); veterinarian's (little girl with new kitten) and this week, it was at the dentist's.

My dentist's office is pretty high tech as teeth doctor's offices go - flat screen TVs with the latest software tracking my records, X-rays of my chompers, etc.

I went to get my teeth cleaned, as I do pretty religiously every six months. Yes, while my uterus doesn't cooperate at all, my insisors, bicuspids, and molars are in fairly pristine condition (I'd rather trade some cavities and root canals for my non-functional womb).

Up on the big ol' 42" flat TV, showed an out-of-date version of my medical history, which said that I was "undergoing fertility treatments." I didn't have the nerve to tell them to remove it from my history. So, once again, I relived that period of my life a bit while I had the hygenist's hands in my mouth. And, since I didn't tell them otherwise, I'll just have to see it again in November when I go back.

The other thing that just kills me is that since I only go every six months, every appointment is just another reminder that I don't have a child (my son from Vietnam or a biobaby) yet. For the last five years, each time I schedule my next cleaning, I have thought, "I bet I have a baby/my son before I am back to see Dr. P." And, thus far, that hasn't happened.

Perhaps I'll try the nitrous oxide next time to make it more fun.


  1. I have resorted to telling all my doctors, even dentist, to put a note in my chart not to ask if there is any chance I could be pregnant or when my last period was. Since my hysterectomy, I don't have to worry about x-rays hurting a fetus that never was. For the past two months, I haven't been asked that at my dentist appointments when I get x-rays and it's so much easier on me now.

    I had a doctor ask me if I was on birth control 10 minutes after I told her I had a hysterectomy. I even told the nurse beforehand that I wasn't able to have kids. That was the first time I made it a big deal to note it in my chart. I was not a happy camper that day.

  2. I agree with you! I went to my dentist on Friday and they actually don't know our struggles, but they do know we've been married for almost 5 years. My dentist told me I needed to stop procrastinating and get my wisdom teeth pulled b/c "Once you're pregnant they won't want to do any work on you". I think I might tempt the God's and leave my wisdom teeth alone. Maybe they'll get so bad that just when I finally decide to have them taken out I'll magically be pregnant. Think it'll work?

  3. My dentist doesn't have the new-age technology but I've seen the same dentist/hygienist for 15 years. It's the 'small talk' that has me blinking back tears... (same can be said for hairdresser, eye doctor, etc) What's been happening, what are my plans for the summer? (well, I'm going to have my 3rd IVF instead of take a great trip with friends for our 40th birthdays). Is that why I've postponed my dentist appointment 3 times this year? Probably.

  4. my dentist has the new age technology too. I see the x-rays they do pop up on the screen in front of me as soon as they take them. (Oh x-rays, how I hate your lovely reminder that I'm still not pregnant)

    Dentists suck. And I'm totally with you..I'd trade a cavity or 2 (or 10!) to be pregnant!

  5. I have my teeth cleaned religiously as well. I usually get a different hygienist and the first question is always the same "Do you have kids?" I don't even bother to explain. Whenever I schedule the next appointment I always wonder pretty much the same thing: "Will I be pregnant the next time I come in here?"

  6. Great post! Definitely try for the nitrous oxide next time :)

    By the way, I love your blog - I gave you an award on my blog :)

  7. It is those random moments that sneak up on you that seem to sting the most. Thanks for a wonderful post. Here from ICLW.

  8. Ahhh! I hate the dentist too because every appt he asks me if I want to get some old fillings replaced and the first time I declined because I told him we were trying and I didn't want to get any unnecessary work done, in case... Oh the optimism of the newly TTC. And now every visit for the last two years I decline and I can see it in hygienists eyes every time she reads down my chart that look... A cross between exasperation and pity. Ick. Oh well, the only procedures I'm doing are those related to my uterus. Period!

  9. my dentist always wants to kniw what is going on..... it kinda makes me crazy! i have asked him to not ask questions but i don't think he remembers that part....
    i will get the nitrous next time if you do! :D

  10. Just dropped by for ICLW...I too hate going to the dentist as it seems to be a reminder of another 6 months without a baby. And the fact that the assistant babbles on about babies...does she know I could bite her? ;)

    April, Editor, Ladies in Waiting Book Club