Sunday, January 3, 2010

Insipid comments from a "comedian"

I was watching a little TV the other day. Our Tivo menu guide was out, so I was going old school and had to actually scroll through all of the channels. And, as such, I had to spend a few seconds determining what show was on before moving to the next channel.

On one station, they were talking about J0n and K@te, so how could I not watch for a moment? I like tabloid TV just as much as the next person. Upon watching further, I found that it was actually the J0y Beh@r show, and she had a panel of comedians discussing various "news" items from 2009. Now, ordinarily, I would never watch the show, but like I said, it was about J0n and K@te and they were talking about her artificial insemination (not even sure if this is true) to conceive the sextuplets. You're talking about infertility treatments, so I am hooked.

One of the panelists, an old, washed up comedian, who has a CNBC or Sirius show or something, J@y Thom@s, said something truly shocking and insulting to all infertiles.

He said, "I don`t think that`s a good beginning to the marriage when you can`t get on top of each other and make a child." And that, "if you're not supposed to have're not supposed to have kids." Then, he went on to say that (be prepared because you're not going to like this): God makes you barren.

I almost launched my cup of tea at my TV to hit him in the head. I felt my blood pressure skyrocket and daggers shoot out of my eyes at this insipid comment.

He wasn't being funny, either - not that it would be if he were joking. He was very serious about it.

I've had a lot of insensitive and stupid comments said to me during my fertility process, but I've never heard anyone say something so grossly insulting and untrue. Granted, it wasn't to my face, but his hollow remarks struch a sharp chord with me.

So, Jay, tell me why crackheads, meth addicts, and other completely unsuitable and irresponsible leeches on society can get pregnant, and I, who has never used a recreational drug in my life, (I guess taking over 1,000 prenatal vitamins over the course of four years doesn't count) can't?

Thus far, they haven't posted the video of the show on Joy's Web site. My guess is because they would crash the server with the thousands of comments from the infertility community (and hopefully fertiles, too).

I'm over this now, but I wanted to let you know. Feel free to let your fingers do the walking on the remote or dial, the next time you see this guy show up anywhere on TV or hear him on the radio.



  1. That just makes my blood boil!!!!! How insulting!!!!! If you find that it does get posted on her site let us know so that can add our comments to it.

  2. Maybe he was trying to be funny as he is a comedian so don't they always try to be funny?

    I've heard this comment before, the god makes you barren stuff, and it's really ignorent, when ever I heard something like this I always remind myself that not long ago there was segregated schools, ignorance will always be here, it's just the target of comments that constantly changes.
    Thanks for sharing, and if they do post it, let me know as I would love to see how many comments.

  3. Yeah, I have heard it too.....but you would never EVER
    say to someone who is sick "god did this to you" people
    are just ignorant, and until they walk a mile they will
    never know. My blood boiled just reading this post, but
    that Joy guy doesn't have a clue what he's talking about!

  4. Oy vey. And btw- yes, Kate was THAT irresonsible to go AGAINST her doctor's advise once he cancelled her IUI and to have se.x at home, thus the sextuplets. You don't get 6 kids for IVF's, only IUIs......

    Forget the idiot.

    I'm here from Creme, here is what I wrote on your Creme post:
    Ahhhh yes, sounds TOO familiar. Heck, I'd take out my calendar anywhere at anytime to see where I was in my cycle, as it was my #1 priority! I still do, even though we are using a surro (I've had enough after 10 IVF's.)

    I did something similiar on my blog in the section to the right, "IVF By The Numbers." Scary to see ALL of that in one space..

    We are the strongest women I've ever, ever met.

    Here from Creme

  5. (warning: my surro's m/c ment'd)

    PS: I just read that you tried using a GS. I didn't get to the blog's part as to why it didn't work, but it didn't for us, either (also unexplained IF). Our first GS ended up with pre-cancer; our second GS was great and we did a donor sperm/donor egg perfect cycle with 10 frozens. She got pg but m/c at 2 months. 2nd transfer with her was a BFN. No explanation, per usual! You and I are in the same sinking boat. But hey, we're not alone!! :)

  6. That is horrible. I have heard and read similar statements from people though...ignorant people who do not understand that it is a medical problem. Does God give people cancer? No - it just happens. Same with all the myriad types of infertility. I have diminished ovarian reserve and will be doing a donor IVF cycle this month, and I know God is with me & my husband in this decision. Also- his dumb statement would also mean that people should not adopt!

    I cannot stand Joy Behar and her ilk, so it figures that she would have some bozo like that on her show. Thank you for your blog & blessings to you this new year!

  7. That's the most disgusting thing I've heard in a long time! If a blind person had a way of seeing, would everyone just say "God made you blind, deal with it!"? This guy is an idiot, and clearly not talented or else he wouldn't have to sink so low for a laugh. It's amazing how stupid and judgmental people are. Sorry you actually had to witness that on TV. I would have thrown my TV out the window!

  8. I have had someone day this to my face and it took everything I had not to burst into tears. It was actually a "friend" who was pregnant and smugly said, "God clearly doesn't think you should be a mother. And you need to get over it."

    People say horrible things and it's so hard to rise above. I'm still working on it.