You know how when you have a work retreat, one of the first things a facilitator does is tell you to go around a table and say something unique about yourself? Mine is usually that I speak Japanese or that I've tried out to be on Jeopardy (but not smart enough to actually be on TV), but what I'd love to say is that I have two uteruses. Seriously, I’m not kidding. I have a bicornuate uterus, which is basically one uterus split into two.
As a result of my duo utero, I always thought this would give me double the chance of getting pregnant. I always thought that God had blessed me with more than enough of the proper equipment to get pregnant at the drop of a hat – or simply forgetting a condom or birth control pills. After all, in some countries having two uteruses makes you a fertility goddess. One would think that I have an ultra-reproductive capacity, but alas I don't, and it's some kind of bizarre joke that only now I can laugh about.
Not only do I have the two wombs, but I also only have one kidney. Seems that there wasn't room for both two because I had so many reproductive pieces. Luckily, my single congenital kidney hasn't made an impact on my life at all - it was only discovered about six years ago. My uni-kidney takes good care of me though, even though I wasn't very nice to it in college.
Just a little background on my funky anatomy.
japanese - so awesome... i've been trying to get DH to agree to let me learn italian... but alas no luck so far!
ReplyDeleteuteri and one kidney... man... somethings backwards there! ;)
My unique thing is always that if I had taken my husband's last name I would have the same first and last name.
ReplyDeletePerhaps your only kidney felt very special and wanted for getting all that extra attention in college?
Aren't odd bodies just the greatest?
ReplyDeleteI have cat eyes.
I know what you mean about wanting to say something at work, but obviously having to hold back. Like there is this guy at work who always says he is doing great and his three kids are great - he's just a little overly gung ho, like Homer Simpson's neighbor (hokily dokily!) - and then asks how I am. Sometimes I want to reply "well, I am really glad my hair has grown back after the chemo, and it's been hard with the whole wanting to have kids thing, but the surrogacy is going well so I'm doing great!" That would make for an interesting elevator ride...
ReplyDeleteMy father found out on a pre-first-visa screening routine medical check up that congenitally one of the heart valves was missing...or something to that effect...and he was like, Thank God that I did not know about this earlier...
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I have held back when all I would want to say is something huffing true and settled for the puffing true.
ICLW
haha! wouldn't it be great to belt out something fertility related and completely inappropriate at work gatherings?!
ReplyDeletesorry about you wonky uteri and lonely kidney.
*runs off to think of something good to say if opportunity ever presents self*
ICLW
Do you think Craigslist would let you post "Spare uterus offered in exchange for second kidney"?
ReplyDeleteWOW-I didn't even know that was possible!!! :) You should totally tell people that. Then, maybe, they'll stop asking those stupid ice breaker questions!!!
ReplyDeleteICLW
HAPPY ICLW!
ReplyDeleteDo you often fantasize about their reactions of you told them? I would be! I get some kind of sick enjoyment in shocking people. More so, when they ask me VERY personal questions. It's not nice, I know, but they asked!
*HUGS*
Just caught myself up on your new blog entries, Egg Factory!! Amazing work, as always. Can't wait to see you and Jack Bauer Friday...
ReplyDeleteI would love to see everyone's faces if you did announce you had two uteri. That would be hysterical.
ReplyDeleteI would love to be there for the 'about me' meeting when you throw that one out there, lol.
ReplyDelete..and I don't too many of us were kind to our kidneys in college... 8-/
it comes to your turn.... you look at everyone... open your mouth and simply say "I have one kidney, and two uteruses" ... and just look at the next person and count the seconds until someone actually speaks... just being unable to figure out how to follow up that... interesting ... set of facts.
ReplyDeleteLOL...
I read your numbers too... Congrats on your baby boy!! I have a friend who has adopted from China and Africa. It doesn't matter how they get there, just matters that they are yours!
Happy ICLW :)
I also have two of everything! Its crazy, but i was supposed to have an ink test done to see if I had an extra kidney, in case I was ever in trama so they wouldn't take out some random mass not knowing it was an extra kidney! But I never got the test. Has anyone ever heard of something like this? 3 kidneys??
ReplyDelete