Thursday, September 2, 2010

One of my least favorite days of the year, but not for the reason you might think

I had my annual OB/GYN exam yesterday, and unlike most women who dread that day of the year because they hate having to spread their legs for the doctor, go through the personal questions, etc. For me, that part is a piece of cake. I figure that I’ve probably been to the fertility doc and/or OB/GYN 100 times over the last five years, so one more time doesn’t shake me at all.

What does bother me is seeing all of the pregnant gals lovingly rubbing their bellies and trading gazes with their husbands. I mentioned in a post last year that I think there should be a walled off area for the baby bump blessed, so that the rest of us don’t have to come into contact with them.

And, apparently I am shrinking. The med assistant who checked me in, measured me a good ½” shorter than I actually am – I am not 85 with osteoporosis.

The other thing that irked me was that I had to explain to TWO people, the medical assistant and my GYN, that “No, I’m not using birth control.” And, “No, I’m not trying to get pregnant.” I am now on my third GYN in three years because they keep moving to New England, so I’d never met this new one, but come on, “Check my effing file! You’ll see more than your fair share of documentation of all the ways I tried to get pregnant.” I hate having to relive all that.

And, they had me listed as being on Estrogen. Yeah, that was like two years ago when I was going through fertility treatments, and people my age really shouldn't be taking it for more than a few days to get the uterine line forming anyway. I'm not going through menopause.

It’s bad enough that my doctor’s office is in the same building and on the same floor, just steps away from my fertility doctor. Even the hallways smell the same – and it makes me think back to the days of when I actually had hope that I could get pregnant. Weird how smells will do that.

Actually, the only highlight to this experience was my drop-in at my old fertility doctor’s office. Unfortunately, he and his wife who is the head nurse, were at their other office, but the office/insurance manager ran out from behind her desk and gave me a big hug. Now that’s the kind of practice I like: hugs instead of getting harangued by people about birth control.


  1. I switched to a new PCP recently when I was on my 4th miscarriage, but still waiting to actually miscarry. Date of LMP? Long ago. So are your cycles irregular or is it possible you are pregnant? Um well, I kind of am. I mean, technically I am, but it's dead and I haven't started to miscarry and my hcg is stubbornly high. Oh, I see. How many pregnancies have you had? Four. And how many children? Zero. :::crickets::: Thanks, male nurse.

    To her credit, the doc was great when she came in and didn't treat me like some idiot know-nothing who is "young and can try again!"

  2. I think we need badges saying: "I am infertile. Check the file."

    I'm fed up with having to go through everything again and again.

  3. Oh yes!! I hear you. At my last appt, I explained that no, I am not using BC, and no I am no longer trying to get pregnant (having spent the last year coming to terms with the idea of getting off the crazy train and pulling my life back together) only to have the nurse tell me that her friend just gave birth at 46 using donor eggs. Um, and this relates to me how? Makes you long for the single days of having to justify your latest relationship. Sigh.

  4. I recently has a miscarriage and went to my OB/GYN for a follow up visit to check on my status. After watching all the women in the waiting room glowing with pregnancy, the nurse called me in and said "have you felt the baby kick yet?"
    My response "no I was just in the ER Monday with a miscarriage."

    You could have heard a pin drop. Yet again a great "check my file moment" since the hospital my OB/GYN is in is the same ER I visited plus my OB/GYN had nen contacted while I was there. Between that and the fact that even if I still were pregnant I would only have been 6 weeks (too soon for any movement) I have decided it is time for a new Dr.

  5. I found out I am infertile at 23, the same time I found out my husband cheated on me. For the most part, I felt like I was handling the situation pretty well, until my doctor recommended going to a OBGYN for an STD test...

    So I had to sit in a waiting room with pregnant women waiting to be tested for STDs. I was humiliated.

    But the worst part was the doctor's reaction when I started to tear up during the procedure...when I explained that I was having a hard time sitting in a room with pregnant women, she she told me I was over-reacting.

    Maybe I was - but my husband left because I couldn't conceived after 5 years of marriage. Sometimes I think doctor's are so wrapped up in physical health, that they forget the importance of mental health...oh and that horrible green monster called jealousy.

  6. I just came from my gyno. He is a great man. He didn't mind that I cried, and he gave me half an awkward hug. Bless his heart.