Saturday, June 13, 2009


I’ve been a little bit superstitious since I was a kid. Ever the athlete, I had lucky socks that I would wear for basketball games, lucky underwear (no, not that kind of lucky underwear – I was a kid) that I would wear on the days I had volleyball games or math tests, and a lucky pre-track meet meal of a Pizza Hut personal cheese pizza.

These pseudo-illogical ways disappeared for the most part during college and my twenties. My only momentary lapse was buying a plastic statue of St. Joseph, the patron saint of home and family, and plant him in the ground upside down next to your “for sale” sign. You then say a prayer to him every day for nine days and your house should sell more quickly. So, maybe it’s more religious than superstitious, but you get the idea. Anyway, Jack Bauer and I tried this method to sell our house in Atlanta and it worked.

And then I started trying to get pregnant.

Since I originally thought it would only take a few months, six max, to get pregnant, I started buying cute unisex onesies, décor for the nursery and other baby belongings. We’d buy baby souvenirs while we were on vacation, too.

When I started the hard core fertility treatments, I went into overdrive (maybe it was the fertility drugs), buying even more infant equipment because I was convinced that it would work and I’d soon need Diaper Genies and teething toys.

After three ovulation induction treatments didn’t work and the first IVF didn’t take, I started reverting back to those old superstitious ways, and wondered if buying all the baby stuff was actually inhibiting my ability to get pregnant. So, I went cold turkey and stopped the shopping spree. You would’ve thought I was a heroin addict, I’d get the shakes when I’d pass a Gymboree.

Then we got the call last July about Nate, and those baby buying tendencies picked right back up. My girlfriends almost had an intervention with me after one trip to an Outlet Mall – I tore threw Oshkosh B’gosh and Hartstrings like there was no tomorrow, estimating how big Nate would be when would get to bring him home. Then, as you know from the NonBio Baby post, all progress to get him home stopped.

So I had to go into withdrawal once again. But, I have stuck to my guns and haven’t bought any baby-related stuff for more than a year and a half, except for shower gifts for friends, which is incredibly hard to do.

Here’s hoping that I’ll have trips to Pottery Barn Kids in my near future.


  1. I used to think that I wasn't superstitious, that is until I found myself refusing to cycle in certain months because I had such terrible outcomes when I had cycled in those months before. February? Will. Not. Do. It.

    I understand that we do these things to give ourselves the feeling of control. But, once you have been at this as long as we have, you begin to wonder if anything you do can make it work this one time. Other times, you think it will be different.

    Me? I've tried to stop thinking.

    Thanks for your lovely comment on my blog. :)

  2. I can totallu understand you being superstitious, it is like the first couple times you let hope take over..then after that you really have to protect yourself.

    Glad I found your blog and look forward to following your journey.

  3. Hi there,

    I found your blog on the ICLW list - I'm also on a surrogacy journey.
    I know what you mean about buyng baby clothes - I have 7 neices/nephews and two on the way. Buying baby gifts has been difficult at times - pregnancies have come so easily for my sisters-in-law. And mostly, when having kids comes naturally, parents just don't realize how fortunate they are.

    I look forward to reading about your GS journey.

  4. I am so with you! I have things hidden throughout my house that were picked up before my self-imposed moratorium on any baby-oriented purchases. I am starting to wonder when I would actually allow myself to buy anything again -- I actually think it would be after I'm holding the baby in my arms. Anyway, I truly hope you can soon take out all those delicious baby items and enjoy them!

  5. There is a Jewish practice (perhaps superstition) that my husband's family has always practiced which forbids us from bringing anything into the house before the baby is born..but that doesn't sto me from perusing every catalog that comes my way and dreaming of what I will buy when there is actually a baby here.
    I agree, it is all about us controlling the (very few) things that we can...I too am hoping you will soon be able to enjoy all those baby things.